1/ Fake it ’til you make it.

Everyone (even the best of us) suffers from imposter syndrome. It’s natural to have self-doubt, especially if you make a mistake. But the best thing to do is to keep moving and strive to keep your head up. “Sometimes you just have to decide to love yourself even if it seems impossible,” Nix says.

2/ When you slip up, just apologize and let it go.

Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean pretending you didn’t make a mistake or shrugging off something serious, but it’s important not to get stuck in a spiral of negative self-talk. “There’s nothing worse than flogging yourself (in the bad way) for making a mistake or even purposefully deciding to act outside of your absolute goals and ambitions,” Nix says. When negative thoughts come your way, just recognize them and let them float away.

3/ Curate your socials.

Online personas only show a selective portion of reality, and even that is often a distortion. The effect can be an unrealistic vision for yourself. While Nix says you don’t have to unfollow all the stereotypical hotties on your list, she advises following a more diverse group of people with different colors, textures, and shapes. “My girl @sirendelcanto of @fatbottomcabaret posted a sexy pic of herself embracing her ‘wrinkles, dents, dimples, and flabby bits,’” Nix says. “In that moment I had been having some negative self-talk around aging, and seeing her post tuned me back in.”

4/ Set aside time to be alone—preferably with a good book.

Play hooky from work or social obligations and find some quiet moments to be with yourself. Nix says reading is a perfect and enriching activity for such moments. “I recommend you first read Your Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, and second, Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Marie Brown,” she says. The first encourages readers to enter “a realm of radical self-love,” according to its author. While the latter is full of “hot and heavy homework” to explore yourself and your pleasure in radical new ways.